Waiting for the mail that never comes – Talk about anxiety!

Imagine how you might feel if you were anxiously waiting for some good news from The U.S. Patent Office as well as Guinness World Records on some important projects you are working on. Yeah, that’s where I’m at right now. Every morning, after four months, I’m checking my email for whether Guinness is going to go for my world record of the most overdubbed voices on a sound recording. Also, every day I’m checking the U.S. mail after over three years of waiting to hear about our Patent Application for our Miniaturized Surround Sound Loudspeaker Placement Platform. The full Application with drawings is here. My wife, Fran and I came up with this one. And she is also busy as all hell with her great work on her items for pets, such as collars, leashes, bow ties and you name it on her website, PamperYourPet Boutique. As you can see, there’s never a dull moment at our house.

The  Miniaturized Surround Sound Loudspeaker Placement Platform is all about listening to 5.1 sound inches away from the speakers instead of feet. I spent months writing it myself in legal fashion and doing about thirty drawings, since Patent attorneys charge thousands. I’m trying to make a plan that will include both of these projects and have written and tossed at least a dozen attempts to write a decent plan for some crowd funding on Indiegogo. I reckon that if Guinness doesn’t come through, I’ll just complete the recording without them. I’m up to 126 voices to date doing the Hallelujah Chorus, soprano, alto, tenor and bass, to wind up with a country rock feel.

It would be nice to have their name on it. To my knowledge, no one has ever overdubbed as many voices as I have on a recording. So, since I know it has never been done, I have a shot with some good publicity, I guess. But if they fall through, I’ll just do it without them. Their last demand was that if they took it on, I would need to sell 10,000 records. I answered with this:

“With all due respect of your professionalism, there is no record company in the world who would guarantee any sales, and no way 10,000 sales of a recording… Also, it’s unique quality of mixing classical with Nashville country style band backing, may not appeal to anyone… Secondly, it makes sense to me that laboring and/or singing and recording 11 hours (4 minutes x 175 voices = 700 ÷60 = 11 hours) of my voices should at least be offered to the public to buy, rather than to have it sit on the shelf just to say ‘I did it.’ Most people will say, ‘so what?’ And so will I. Therefore, it makes sense to offer it for sale on my label and then attempt to get major label interest.”

So, am I off the wall or what? Actually, they upped the number requirement from 175 to 200 voices, which I said ok, no problem. What’s another 100 minutes of singing for a world record?

This is reminiscent of negotiating with used car salesmen, real estate agents, department store appliance salesmen, and strange as it may seem, this is starting to look like a negotiation game here with Guinness. It appears that they may be just looking for money.

They say on their website that it will take four to six weeks to give an answer. In my case now, since my application on Feb. 11. 2013, it is going into the fifth month. They say, “At Guinness World Records, we take great care to evaluate every claim we receive. Before we accept or reject a new record proposal, we always carry out claim-specific research, which may require the expertise of external consultants. As a consequence, a Standard Application requires four to six weeks to be reviewed…If you Fast Track the initial application or upgrade your standard claim, the cost of the service is £450 / $700 + 20% VAT (if applicable). Please note that payment for the Fast Track services guarantees that your record application is given priority treatment to be researched and processed.”

Therefore, if I had given them $700 plus 20% VAT on Feb. 11, I would have had an answer in three days on about Feb. 14. Also, for quite a few more hundred dollars and travel and hotel expenses I can have one of their judges at our event to speed things up more and also have an immediate answer.

Do I really need this aggravation? How about I just do it, and tell the world, “Hey, I just did another world record of overdubbing my voice 200 times on a recording. Here is the proof.” Proving is not that difficult, since my voice will be just about the same on every track. And I can show a track for every voice. Tell me what you think about this. I’d love to hear some of your comments.

As far as the Patent Application is concerned, usually no company will be interested in taking on abn invention unless a Patent has been issued, and you are up against thousands of others out there trying to sell a Patent. And according to statistics, it’s just like songs. There are thousands of songwriters and not a lot of them get out there. Believe me, writing a Patent Application is like writing a thesis, and writing the claims is almost impossible So, I guess I’ll have to just wait it out on both accounts to form a plan for Indiegogo. Oh, well, maybe tomorrow. Sounds like another song.

One thought on “Waiting for the mail that never comes – Talk about anxiety!”

  1. I got good news from the Patent Office. The Patent Examiner rejected all my Claims,and so now he is going to write some claims for me.


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